Church Bulletin Bloopers: Thank you for church ladies
with typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or
were announced in church services.
- Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight
at
Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from
Africa.
- Prayer & Fasting Conference: "The cost for attending the
Fasting and
Prayer Conference includes meals."
- The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the
Water." The sermon
tonight: "Searching for Jesus."
- Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in
the
recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
- Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid
of
those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands.
- The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due
to a
conflict.
- Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community.
Smile at
someone who is hard to love. Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care
much
about you.
- Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
- Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way
again," giving
obvious pleasure to the congregation.
- For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a
nursery
downstairs.
- Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all
the
help they can get.
- Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more
transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of
Pastor Jack's sermons.
- The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir
will
sing: "Break Forth Into Joy."
- Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the
church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
- A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall.
Music will follow.
- At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be
"What Is
Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
- Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of
Several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
- Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles and other items to be
recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
- Please place your donation in the envelope along with the
deceased
person you want remembered.
- Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy
lunch.
- The church will host an evening of fine dining, super
entertainment and
gracious hostility.
- Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to
follow.
- The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every
kind. They
may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
- This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn sing in the park across
from
the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
- Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM.
All ladies
are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
- The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation
would
lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
- Low Self-esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM.
Please use
the back door.
- The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the
church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this
tragedy.
- Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian
Church.
Please use large double door at the side entrance.
- The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign
slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours."
Adele
